Dead people

Dead people jokes

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Costume

  • So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.

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    Virgin

  • If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?

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  • Dead Body

  • Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.

    The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.

    "First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the coroner.

    "Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

    The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"

    "Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."

    "Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.

    "He thought he was having his picture taken."

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    Autopsy

  • I recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy, and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.

    We found out that she died............... from an autopsy.

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