Short jokes
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?
A: It rises every morning.
Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
Why was the chef embarrassed?
He saw the salad dressing.
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?
That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
So Kenny finally found his one true love.
But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.