Short jokes
I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?
An avalanche.
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says, "Oh my god, your shoulders are broad!" Another woman says, "Are you sure it's a woman?"
My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."
If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.
Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five?
Logan Paul left him hanging.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)
What do you call someone smart and dead?
Stephen Hawking...
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...
There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those that know binary and those that don't.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
Why was the clown sad?
He broke his funny bone. PS: "funny bone" is not actually a bone.
My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.
Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?
You pick it up off the street.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.