Short jokes
What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
What do sheep wear to the beach?
A baa-kini.
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.
Roses are red. The sun isn't shining. My mental state is rapidly declining.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.
What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.
Rainbows top the class, as they always score with flying colors.
My father left me at a young age.
He was only five.
what do you call a shadow stalker REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
What do you call a frozen communist?
Hammer and popsicle.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?
He got to cut himself.
We don't read backwards.
I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"
I will always remember my dad's last words....
"15 dollars and I'll jump."
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.