Short jokes
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain. "Quick, let's swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?
one has a point.
Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?
He won't separate the whites from the colors...
Went to my friend's house, fucked his sister.
I had a fun funeral / birthday.
What do you call an annoying emo kid? A nuisance.
What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?
A: Right where you left 'em.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
The twin towers are like water bottles.
It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
What is the definition of African-American Vienna sausages?
cocks of African-American men
Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?
I heard it was because of pier pressure.
If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.
Elephants never forget.
Cannibal eats missionary, gets a taste for religion.
What is black and white and is dead?
My Chemical Romance.
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. After all, they are independent and need no man.
Cheer on the rapist if you want.
What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!