Short jokes
Kenny's favorite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.
Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.
You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.
What's a skeleton's favorite food?
Spare ribs.
I didn't like having long nails, but they're growing on me.
Where did Janet go during the bombing? Everywhere.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"
What do sheep wear to the beach?
A baa-kini.
What is a pig crossed with a pineapple?
A porkypine!
Roses are red. The sun isn't shining. My mental state is rapidly declining.
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
What's the difference between $1 million and baby teeth?
I don't have $1 million in my wallet.
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
Your forehead is so big, Mastermind got jealous.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"
Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."