Short jokes

I got jealous when my phone dies.

Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.

Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.

What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.

I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.

I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.

So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!

Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.

What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"

Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.

Yo hairline was used as the blueprint for the Great Wall of China.

Pick up lines.

"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"

"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."

What do altar boys and strippers have in common? Father issues.

Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?

Because there is never anyone at the door.

My friend just got a new house. He told me to make myself at home, so I threw him out. I hate visitors.

REALLY CRAPPY JOKE ALERT!!! Oh Quin, how was eating that tight butt? Must be nasty. I heard you met from rear ending him.

I just thought of the best invention ever: a vape dildo.

how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?

kick his sister in the jaw

At first, I was a boy trapped in a girl's body, then I was born.

Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"

Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.

Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?

They were all family sized.