Short jokes
I bought my cousin a trampoline, she started crying. She was in a wheelchair.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
Me: *gets down on one knee*
Girlfriend: OMG, it's finally happening!
Me: *falls over*
Girlfriend: The poison is kicking in.
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
Why do priests play Geometry Dash? Cuz they can beat Demons.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
what's a depressed person's favorite game?
hangman
Olivia Rodrigo
What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?
Answer: Forever 21.
Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.
Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!
Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?
Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.
How do you know a cannibal picnic is over?
Everyone's eaten.
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
What part do people slit the most?
Everyone.
Why is the Titanic good at baseball? Because it sinks it.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding only half a worm.
I got jealous when my phone dies.