Short jokes
I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist.
To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!
Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.
What's the difference between cake and pie?
πr2, cakes are round.
Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.
A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."
Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."
I'm a rapist.
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister." Daughter: "I don't have a..."
How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?
Calculator!
bradley
Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?
Because all the other letters are not Z's.
Why was the snowman smiling?
Because he saw the snow blower coming down the street.
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
Something you can say at a job interview and during sex:
"I’m here for the new position?"
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.