Short jokes
I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.
Simply because they look up to me.
What do you call four black people in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat.
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.
What do KFC and pussy have in common?
Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.
Person: "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 50 seconds to live!"
Doctor: "Just give me a minute!"
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.
1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.
What do the films The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
What do you find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower?
Heads and shoulders.
My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke a little leaf.
Jack got high and dropped his fly, and Jill said "Where’s The beef?"
I asked my mom where babies come from. She said I came from the adoption center.
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."
Define abnormal life.
Waking up every day living a sane life!
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!