Short jokes
Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.
I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.
It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.
Why aren't emos and trees friends? Because the tree leaves them hanging.
Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"
"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.
We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"
A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮
B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛
Helen Keller deaf-initely faked it!
What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?
Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.
Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.
I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
A necrophiliac woman goes over to her friend's house after hooking up.
"Was it hung?" her friend asks.
"No, he was shot."
The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five...
...but it left him hanging.
When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.
😐😑
Crappy joke warning: How does Spongebob have fun? He smokes seaweed.
Me: Mom, would you get mad at me for something I didn't do?
Mom: No.
Me: Ok, good. I didn't do my homework.