Short jokes
I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.
It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.
We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.
"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.
The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five...
...but it left him hanging.
When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.
😐😑
Me: Mom, would you get mad at me for something I didn't do?
Mom: No.
Me: Ok, good. I didn't do my homework.
So my dad said to me and my sister, "Don't fight," but did he mean "fist fight" or "yelling fight?"
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.
A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.
You need to be a complete dick.
Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?
Because daddy never came back home with the milk.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question, feminists don't change anything.
What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
Apparently, describing the beautiful city of Hiroshima as "The bomb" is not okay.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.