Short jokes
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question, feminists don't change anything.
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim.
When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.
What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk.
Roses are red. Violets are too. You better run, I’m following you!
I asked my mom where babies come from. She said I came from the adoption center.
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮
B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
How did the gay girl die? Homicide.
If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.
Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.
Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?
Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.
Don't pick flat chests because they will turn their backs on you twice.