Short jokes
How do women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.
Men: "I like dogs."
Women: "I like cats."
Chinese: "Food is food."
Why do orphans support slavery?
They finally have an owner.
I'm jealous of your heart because it's pumping in you and I'm not.
Isn't Gwen the most thoughtful person?
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.
What is the best Catholic dating app?
Grinder.
If rape was about power, then my electric bill would be a positive balance.
Did you ever think that John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head?
Roses are red, peanuts are tan. I am joining the Ku Klux Klan.
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...