Short jokes
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
Why can't dwarfs be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
What’s the key to a successful relationship?
Consent.
If rape was about power, then my electric bill would be a positive balance.
Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
I love you like my cuts.
Deeply.
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
What is the best Catholic dating app?
Grinder.
Did you ever think that John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head?
What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...
I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.
Why do orphans support slavery?
They finally have an owner.
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.