Short jokes
You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.
What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?
They both have no way home!
Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.
Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?