Short jokes
What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...
What’s the key to a successful relationship?
Consent.
I'm jealous of your heart because it's pumping in you and I'm not.
Isn't Gwen the most thoughtful person?
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.
I was playing hangman, and I gave up on the word "LIFE".
Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.
You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.
What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?
They both have no way home!
Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.
Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger! You racist fuc-
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.