SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”
MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”
Short Jokes
Why were the Twin Towers scared at dinner?
Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?
One Erection would be a very nice name for a gay band.
Where did Johnny go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Unlike my syndrome, I keep my chin up. 🙌🏽😁
Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."
What is the Titanic's favorite mint?
Icebreakers.
When I grow up, I wanna be like Lil Peep... Dead.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
