Short jokes
It's not rape if you're both crying.
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled children.
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
Like if you think rape jokes are funny.
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
Why are Muslims not fond of American cops?
Because Muslims don't like pigs!
Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants... I hope they're happy now.
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!
Call me an escalator because I let people down.
What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."
The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."
My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"
What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?
The drone guy didn't know either.
I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.
What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.
Therapist: So what brought you here today?
Wife: He's too literal.
Therapist: And you, sir?
Husband: My truck.