I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
Short Jokes
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...
When you hear Michael Jackson talk about his "perfect 10," make sure you hide your 10-year-old son.
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
what's the difference between hitler and you?
one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.
I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
