Short jokes
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”
MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”
Where did Johnny go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Incest. A game the whole family can play.
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
What is the Titanic's favorite mint?
Icebreakers.
What do fat demons hate? Exorcise.
When I grow up, I wanna be like Lil Peep... Dead.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.