Short jokes
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
It's not rape if you're both crying.
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”
MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”
Incest. A game the whole family can play.
Where did Johnny go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.
What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.
What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
-"I want my quarterback."
People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."
God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"
After 40 years, Kobe finally learned to pass.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled children.
What is the Titanic's favorite mint?
Icebreakers.
What do Paul Walker and I have in common? Neither of us have seen Fast and the Furious 7.
What do fat demons hate? Exorcise.