Depressed person jokes
Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.
Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.
How do you get a depressed person to jump?
Put them on a bridge.
What do you call a depressed person's life?
At this point, nonexistent.
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
Another joke, I know they suck.
What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
What's the depressed person's favorite song?
Van Halen - Jump
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.
What do you call a depressed person?
Me.
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
Why did the depressed person cross the road?
To get run over.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.