"MERCURY INSURANCE, come to our office in Mercury."
Short Jokes
When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.
My mental health.
What do an emo girl and a blind girl have in common?
Black is their favorite color.
I got kicked out of flight school, so I decided to learn from the experienced pilots (Isis).
What did the tower say to the other one?
I will see you later; I am about to get hit.
I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.
She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"
Even Michael Jordan can't dunk from your hairline! 🤣🤣
I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.
Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.
Why did the rapper become a barber?
To trim his verses.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he knew how to mix up some beats!
What did Tupac's homies smoke? His ashes.
It would've been too tacky to take a shot in his memory.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.
What do you call a rapper with a PhD?
A rap scholar.
Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he always dropped the MIC instead of the BAT.
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.
What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.
