Short jokes
What's the difference between school and Hell?
There is no difference.
There are two types of people, avoid them both.
You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Chump obviously wants to divorce Melania and marry Pootin, lmfao.
Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.
Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.
Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.
Why does Elmo turn emo? Because he's Elmo emo.
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
Fruit punch sounds like the name of a gay boxer.
Why was the noble gas not emo?
Because they were thinking RIGHT.
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."
What do you call a white man farting? "British Gas."
Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.
Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Timmy: *starts crying*
Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.
Orphans are banned in Alabama.
What do orphans get at Xmas?
Lonely.
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]
Are you serious right now, bro?
Nobody:
JFK: :) Hi guys!
JFK's killer: Ayo look at this shit, I just hit a clip.
What are some red flags?
Chinese, Danish, Spanish, Turkish and Albanian.