Short jokes
I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.
He’s used to penetrating aggressively.
Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
Nun's worst holiday? Norfolk.
Nun's best holiday? Bangkok.
A nun going down a water shoot? She never felt so wet in all her life!
So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"
I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.
Still waiting on an answer.
Why is my anus burning?
'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!
Ever heard of ligma? Ligma ba--
You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.
Why did my parents walk to the other side?
...Why?
All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.
The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.
Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.
Why did 6 eat 7? Because 7 ate 9.
Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.
What do you call a sharpened pencil? You call a sharpened pencil a sharpened pencil.
I would give you a thrashing, but that would be animal abuse.
Never gonna give you up.