Short jokes
Why does everyone like couch jokes?
Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!
You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.
What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?
A Corgi Potty.
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What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?
You get salmonella.
Q: Why can't skeletons go to the dance?
A: He doesn't have the guts for it.
A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"
I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."
What makes a software developer feel rich?
Their cache.
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
Because there was no chemistry...
¿Qué hizo el cartero enojado?
Estampó su feeeeeeet!!!
What is the best type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
Don't scare me! I poop easily!
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Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."
So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"
Why can't you buy an iPhone X?
It's too expensive.
Why were the victims of 9/11 so mad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
Why do women fart when they pee? To blow dry.
Yeeeeeeeet!
Why don't headless people have a head in class?
Because they know that they will be ahead of the class. XD
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!