Short jokes

Short jokes

Ass

Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.

Kill

Is shooting and killing a pregnant woman a spawn kill or double kill?

Cheetah

Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."

Woman

Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.

Bacon

Smoking will kill you.

Bacon will kill you.

But, smoking bacon will cure it!

Feather

I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?

Pilot

POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.

Trap

What did the Americans call the Battle of Midway after Pearl Harbor?

The Jap trap.

Band

Did you hear about the Mexican emo band? They're called "Hispanic at the Disco."

Feminist

How do you turn a hairy man into a feminist?

Just take out his brain and there you go!

Idiot

It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.