Short jokes
Why did Michael Jackson run?
Because he lost his glove.
You know why Elmer Fudd always came out hunting rabbits in the woods? Because Bugs Bunny would not stop flirting with his girlfriend.
A man walked into a toilet and saw a woman fingering a man and said, "I think you're doing it wrong." Turns out it was two transvestites.
I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?
When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.
A brain eats cheddar cheese.
Who does Adolph Hitler call in an emergency?
Nein, nein, nein!
Yo mama's so poor, I knocked on the front door of her house and realized I was already outside in her backyard!
Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar...
"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts, "We don't serve your type!"
Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!
I ran out of bras, so I wore...
My grandma's underpants!
What is an astronaut's favorite color? Zoo.
Why did the chicken enter the cave?
Because it wanted to get to the Dark Side.
What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
The earth is not round.
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How many cats are in the human body?
None, unless you're Asian.
What is the difference between a blond and a Nazi?
The blond survived.