Short jokes
You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.
A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."
Deutsch: Die, die nichts zu sagen haben, reden viel. Die, die was zu sagen haben, hingegen kaum.
Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20 vision!
I like women how I like my hair dryer: locked in a closet most of the time and only being used to blow me dry.
What is the butt’s favorite computer?
The Tushiba.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
Me: Hey Jim!
Jim: I'm now a cannibal.
Me: WAIT, JIM! N-
Bitch wanna make me a sandwich?
"Rape is funny until it's your little sister or daughter getting raped."
Want to hear a joke?
Ohio State football.
What do Africans eat for breakfast?
E-bola Cornflakes.
Paki curry is shit.
Why did my wife leave me?
I wish I knew.
What do you get from childhood drama? A ginger with autism.
Best friend: Dude, your sister is hot, I'd hit that.
Me: Already did. SWEET HOME ALABAMA
What did the Indian say to the cow?
I lowe you, moo than anything.
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best chum! :)
Society
Q. What do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head?
A. An ambulance.