Short jokes
What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?
Stephen Hawking.
My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
What do you call purple when it's being mean? Violent.
The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!
What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?
You can get on with a prostitute!
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.
What's Barack Obama's favorite vegetable? It's Barack-olli.
My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"
Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote? He got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of his legs, and was still stuck!
I guess Neptune is next to Your Anus XDDDD.
Up your pp with a piece of crap!
The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.
Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.
Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!
He jizzes canned cheese.
Your forehead [is] so big [that] every time you shout, your forehead starts pulsing.
Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.
I wish I could tell you about my penis, but it's too short.