Short jokes
What do you call a terrorist in a bath?
A bath bomb.
Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.
Something you can say about a restaurant, but not your partner:
"So you’re open 24 hours a day?"
The great meme reset is like a fart. If you force it, it's gonna be shit.
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.
Obese is the N-word for fat people.
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
What's the definition of suspicious?...
A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field. 💀
I had to stop drinking because I got tired of waking up in my car, driving 90.
Here are 4 different ways to do UwU.
1. UwU 2. OwO 3. OwU 4. UwO
I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
I told my fam a joke.
They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"
POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.
The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."
Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?
Party crashers.