Short jokes
Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."
What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"
A fire broke out at the circus, it was intense.
Daniel takes his frustrations out on Shaenaya and his sexual frustrations out on Arunima.
My cat got run down. That is a cat-astrophe.
Why am I idiot?
What did the skeleton say to Shrek?
"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."
What is the smallest room in the world?
A mushroom.
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
Life is beautiful, but you are ugly.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.
What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?
Up Shepherd's leg.
What do inner city schools and databases have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.