Short jokes
D: Johnny, Johnny.
J: Yes, Papa?
D: Eating sugar?
J: No, Papa!
D: Telling lies?
J: No, Papa!
D: Open your mouth, now full of cock. :)
What is orange and will soon be wearing prison orange? Trump.
Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.
We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.
Why did the cheetah need to fart on the lion? So he could win the race.
Yo mama's teeth are so crooked, they have a British accent.
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
Why did Michael Jackson run?
Because he lost his glove.
What is the difference between a blond and a Nazi?
The blond survived.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar...
"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts, "We don't serve your type!"
Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!
What is an astronaut's favorite color? Zoo.
I ran out of bras, so I wore...
My grandma's underpants!
I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
His wife forgot to plug his wheelchair into the wall.
A man walked into a toilet and saw a woman fingering a man and said, "I think you're doing it wrong." Turns out it was two transvestites.
Why did the chicken enter the cave?
Because it wanted to get to the Dark Side.
My pencil sharpener broke, so now my pencil is pointless.
Who is Stephen Hawking?
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
I would tell you a joke about pizza,
but it's too cheesy.