Short jokes
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
A Christian, a Jew, and a Catholic walk into a bar. The Christian says, “Where’s Mohammed?”
Talking about planets with my nephew.
He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
Why was the emo mad?
The picture got hung, not her.
God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.
Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."
You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?
You were hit by a shockwave!
Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.
By the way, why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings, but they never answer that door.
Enjoy!
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.
Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?
A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.
What is the true meaning of Christmas?
Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
Removing the polish with chemicals: 😀
Removing the Polish with chemicals: 😳
What types of erections do skeletons have? Boners.
In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.
I'd mop the floor with your face, but you might just mess it up more.
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.
Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.