My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
Severe Hemorrhoids
Explanation
Explain Bear
Alright listen up, chucklenut. This "Slartibartfast" guy (probably not his real name, bet he lives in his mama's basement) is saying his hemorrhoids are so bad that his toilet looks like an abortion. In simple terms, he's saying his butt is bleeding a lot.