Short jokes
Whenever the hungry cannibal performs amputations, he says,
"Thank you for your donation!"
Hillary for president.
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
I named my dog Chicken.
I love eating chicken.
You calling me gay, but the pole is straighter than you.
You know what the yin and yang looked like before Martin Luther King Jr.?
There was none, it was all white!
Paul Walker is the best legend to go down in history. Change my mind.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel its skin off.
Why did people bully Steven Hawking?
Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Goats are like mushrooms.
If you shoot a cat, I'm scared of toasters.
Why did the cow lick your mum?
Because she had a cream pie.
What was the last thing on the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
...
...
Their knees.
*Ba dum tss*
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 😂🤣👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper
Why am I gay?
Because I like mushrooms.
Do you wanna hear a Gay Joke...
Butt fuck it.
You're so fat that you have to live on Pluto so you don't destroy any of the planets.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite lunch? Eggs and shoulders.
What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair?
Your next door grumpy old neighbor.
R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II.