Short jokes
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
What time is it? It's time for lunch.
*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.
Q: Why doesn’t Toledo have a professional football team?
A: Because then, Cincinnati would want one.
What is the funniest hill in the world called? Hill-arious!
If you're mad, hire an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents? 🤣🤣
Why did the clock out the library?
It tocked too much!
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
What's 2+2?
4.
What time is it when it gets dark out?
Bed time.
What is big, fun, [and] loud?
A school bus 🚌
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
I like my women like my family, they’re related.
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!