Short jokes

What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?

They both come in small can.

I cummed on the alley.

I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"

He called the cops.

Me and my friend were cranking 90s in Fortnite, then our other friend joined, started flying a plane. We died like all the people in 9/11.

Children in the Twin Towers be like: "Look, Mum, it's a plane!"

What’s the difference between Juice WRLD and George Floyd?

Nothing, they both can’t breathe.

What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?

A sexy female.

Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.

Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."

I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.

Yeah, it was a shih tzu.

I blend children to make a good living.

You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.

What is a nonce's favorite toy...? You.

Why do women have no need for umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.

Did you hear about the Chinese student?

Me neither.

I got my sister a book and she cried there, but I forgot she was blind.

Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.

Abbie: I had sex with dad.

Mom: Go die in a hole!

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

He pasta-way.

I once told a blind orphan, "Hey, look at the bright side!"

I kicked a goose, and I liked it!

In America, you catch Pikachu. In Soviet Russia, Pikachu catches you.