Short jokes
Just chatting, Tim! 🌷🌷🌷🌷
Driving through the woods today, I saw a boy with a bare behind.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?
"Just beat it."
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
Walk into the club like, "Wow, I got a big penis!"
What's got 9 arms and sucks?
Def Leppard.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
You: What you doing?
I wonder what you’re doing because you’re bad at math, hahahahaha!
I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.
I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you a lot!
It squirted in my eye, God dammit!
If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
What do you call a PEIS?