Short jokes
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
Good that you got detention because you said that to me; you should've gone to jail.
9/10/01
Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”
Why did the bee go to the doctors?
Answer: Because he had hives.
What language do Gays speak?
HOMOGRAPHY maybe...
What is white, then red, and is very fast?
My chainsaw blade.
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
What do you call a guy named Kaiden?
I don't know, lol.
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?
Answer: Putin, put out!
Your hairline goes farther back to Rosa Parks' seat.
What did the orphan poker player say to the elder?
“Will you raise me?”
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in.
Sister, you're ugly.
Other sister: I'm not your reflection.
PS. Sorry if it is not funny.
Just told Putin to get some b*tches.
Waiting for 3801 missiles to strike my house.
Bully: Have you ever heard of a brain?
Stupid kid: No.
Bully: You should go get one!
Stupid kid: Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.