Short jokes
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
What's something you can say in church and while having sex?
I come in the name of the Lord.
What does a Jew expecting guests say?
"Oy, vey, are they here yet?"
What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Harold Arlen.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.
What do spiders and Black people have in common?
When they’re black, they kill you.
How do you know you had a gay cookout?
All the hotdogs taste like ass.
What do you call a cab for black men?
A cop car.
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
How do you know you’re at a gay church?
Half the congregation is kneeling.
What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?
A green bean.
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.