Short jokes
9/11 jokes just don't fly around me.
What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?
One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."
What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?
Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!
Why did the snowman say, "Good day," to the sun?
Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun.
What do you call a cupcake with no frosting? A frosting cupcake.
What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?
"What does this button do...?"
I want to di... dive! Yeah!
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.
Why couldn’t the underage orphan get on an adult-only website? Because you need your parents' consent.
I would make a joke about Silver the Hedgehog... but it's no use!
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
Why did the dinosaur take a bath?
So it can get ex-stinked!
Hitler is a national hero, he killed Hitler... Oh wait.
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
Why can't orphans be robbers?
Because they're not wanted.
What was the color of the wallpaper in the Twin Towers?
... plane.
GOOD MORNING USA!!!! I GOT A FEELING THAT IVE SEEN A FUCKIN NlGGER TODAY!!!