Short jokes

Short jokes

Shooting

The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.

Incest

Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?

A: Cum on your cousin's face.

Tomato

Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?

A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.

Alzheimer's

Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.

Rug

What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.

Toy

Woman

What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?

They both come with a toy.

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson

What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.

Shit

Roses are red, I need a broom, I just shit all over the bathroom.

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson

What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?

He-he-eat!

Doll

What's so special about Palestinian sex dolls?

They blow themselves up.

Plastic Surgery

Michael Jackson

What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?

Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.

Walk

Disabled

Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.