Short jokes
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.
What month has 28 days?
All of them.
Do you know why an atom is positive? He kept his electrons.
Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
How did the man in prison escape?
He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.
Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?
Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
How many letters are in the English Alphabet?
Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.
If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.
I ought to complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.
What do Hiroshima and Herobrine have in common?
They're not heroes.
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.
Why are these jokes bad?
They're literally the worst jokes ever.
What do you call a legless table? Nothing.