Short jokes
How did the Skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He read the weather forecast.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
Why did the dog cause the fight?
Because it was a bulldog.
I'm a bot, so coolllll!
Why is a waiter good at math?
Because he knows his TABLES! 🤣
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
Welcome to Mississippi.
Hahaha, you have no PP!
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
Your life, that's all.
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 Detour.
Family are together playing charades.
Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!
What does NASA stand for?
Need a star A.S.A.P.!
What is red and shaped like a bucket?
A red bucket.
I told her "I love you." She said, "I love me too."
My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
Belief in Egyptian gods is just Ra-ng (wrong). 😁