Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Short Jokes
What's harder than steel? Michael Jackson at a playground.
I respect cancer more than I respect depression.
At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?
What do you call a priest in a room full of naked boys?
A colonoscopy.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
The definition of a stalker is two people going on a romantic walk, but only one person knows about it.
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.
I was going to kill them with kindness, but then I realized using a knife is a lot faster.
What type of tape do kidnappers use?
Abduct-Tape.
Why do people from Alabama abhor eating tacos and burritos?
Because their meat has to be in bread.
In Syria, there are no Walmarts, only Targets.
Your hairline's so far back that five hour energy became a five day depression.
Ancestry.com is spelled with an “I” in Alabama.
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.
Kid: Are you gay?
Me: No, I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
