Short jokes
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
I used to keep asking a woman if I can rape her until she got so annoyed and said, "Stop asking me."
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.
I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A buccaneer!
I don't like these Undertale jokes. They just don't make any sense.
How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."
Nobody notices your pain, tears, struggles, but why do they notice your mistakes?
Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.