Short jokes
How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.
When the guy next to you says that he kind of agrees with the villain.
Me watching a World War 2 documentary.
Nobody notices your pain, tears, struggles, but why do they notice your mistakes?
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."
I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.
Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime.
I don't like these Undertale jokes. They just don't make any sense.
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A buccaneer!
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed.
But she has to. She's his mom.
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker.
Everything I fall in love with leaves me. Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
Looks like depression got the best of me! Don’t worry, I’m already going under.
What's harder than steel? Michael Jackson at a playground.
I respect cancer more than I respect depression.
At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.