Short jokes
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say, "You're next."
So I started poking them at funerals and saying, "You're next" to my friends.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
What do you call a Russian tree?
Dimitree.
In my spare time I help blind children. -- I mean the verb, not the adjective.
The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.
Ancestry.com is spelled with an “I” in Alabama.
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.
When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?
When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
Why did Ms. Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr. Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?
Dave: No.
Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.