What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.
Short Jokes
My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? ... Kick his sister in the jaw.
What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?
Udder destruction.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.
When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.
How do you know when Helen Keller is home?
Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
What's the difference between life and death? Life hurts.
Technoblade be doing skyblock in heaven now.