Short jokes
Why did the adopted kid eat the last cookie? Because he was the only one left to adopt; everyone hated him.
Connor: Hi Mom.
Mom:
Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!
What do you call a sharpened pencil? You call a sharpened pencil a sharpened pencil.
What time is it when you smell garbage? Time to run!
Old McDonald cuts himself.
E-M-E-M O!
Top five places to find your dad's orphans is Milk Island.
Prince???
Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
My classmates?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Johnny.
Johnny who?
Johnny want yo' mommy.
Drama queens be like: =- (
Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.
What did one angry cow say to another?
We got some beef.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My life.
My life who?
My life is depressing...
What does a skeleton call their great-grandparents?
A fossil.
Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He didn't have enough room for any more RAM on his motherboard. I feel so bad for saying that!
Why did the alligator see a crocodile?
Because it ate too many humans, and he was sick.
I have special needs, and I was born with it.
A woman walked up to me and asked me for a joke. I stood there with a straight face knowing women can't be funny.