Short jokes
What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul? At least Hitler had respect for the Japanese!
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
Why did Ms. Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr. Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?
Dave: No.
Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
Why were the Twin Towers scared at dinner?
Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter.
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
When you're working in the Twin Towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi.
Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.
I saw it through my telescope last night.