Short jokes
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
Never buy an epileptic kid light-up Sketchers.
I used to keep asking a woman if I can rape her until she got so annoyed and said, "Stop asking me."
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?
Dave: No.
Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
Why did Ms. Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr. Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.
When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!
In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter.
What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul? At least Hitler had respect for the Japanese!
It's not pedophilia, it's early access.
Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.