Short jokes
When the guy next to you says that he kind of agrees with the villain.
Me watching a World War 2 documentary.
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."
I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime.
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed.
But she has to. She's his mom.
Looks like depression got the best of me! Don’t worry, I’m already going under.
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
Everything I fall in love with leaves me. Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
What's harder than steel? Michael Jackson at a playground.
Kid: Are you gay?
Me: No, I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on.
I respect cancer more than I respect depression.
At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks!