The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no-bell prize.
Short Jokes
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.
Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?
Alfred: Why?
Me: because I'm worthless... =)
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.
What do you call a dead fly? -- A flew.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down!
I hate people who get offended here, like seriously, it's called dark humor for a reason.
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated.
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
Famous last words:
"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."
What does a spy do when he's cold?
He goes under cover.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.
What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?
Ashtraynauts.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?
Having to wait your turn.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
