Short jokes
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed.
But she has to. She's his mom.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
Everything I fall in love with leaves me. Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
Looks like depression got the best of me! Don’t worry, I’m already going under.
What's harder than steel? Michael Jackson at a playground.
I respect cancer more than I respect depression.
At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
Kid: Are you gay?
Me: No, I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.
I was going to kill them with kindness, but then I realized using a knife is a lot faster.
My blind friend is so annoying, he kept bumping into things even though I repeatedly told him to look where he was going.
The definition of a stalker is two people going on a romantic walk, but only one person knows about it.
Why do people from Alabama abhor eating tacos and burritos?
Because their meat has to be in bread.
Your hairline's so far back that five hour energy became a five day depression.
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no-bell prize.