Short jokes
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
What do you call a priest in a room full of naked boys?
A colonoscopy.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
What makes a joke a dad joke?
I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.
I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread them?
I bet a disabled kid on a wheelchair that if he could catch me, I'd give him 1000 dollars. He said deal, and I went upstairs.
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!
Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker.
I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
Forehead is so big that you wear a bed sheet for a bandana.
What do you call a retard with a boner? A slowpoke.
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”
Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class.
Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.