Short jokes
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.
Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A buccaneer!
How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.
I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[
When the guy next to you says that he kind of agrees with the villain.
Me watching a World War 2 documentary.
Nobody notices your pain, tears, struggles, but why do they notice your mistakes?
I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime.