Short jokes
What do you call a priest in a room full of naked boys?
A colonoscopy.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
What type of tape do kidnappers use?
Abduct-Tape.
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
What makes a joke a dad joke?
I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread them?
Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.
I used to keep asking a woman if I can rape her until she got so annoyed and said, "Stop asking me."
I bet a disabled kid on a wheelchair that if he could catch me, I'd give him 1000 dollars. He said deal, and I went upstairs.
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!
Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
Forehead is so big that you wear a bed sheet for a bandana.
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker.
I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.