Short jokes
So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”
Better to cum in the sink... than to sink in the cum.
I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes...
...I told him to lighten up.
My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.
Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."
I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[
I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.
When the guy next to you says that he kind of agrees with the villain.
Me watching a World War 2 documentary.