Short jokes
Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
Forehead is so big that you wear a bed sheet for a bandana.
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.
What makes a joke a dad joke?
I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.