Short jokes
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smelicopter.
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?
Answer: A math problem.
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
What did the cow say to your mom?
Hello.
Robert doesnβt see people, the man just sees meals.
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
Cops have the hardest job: they have to tell women they have the right to remain silent and know damn well she will not have the ability.
I like strippers on me.
What did the terrorist do when his kidneys failed?
Dial-ISIS!
How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?
They are all boomers in the end.
Wanna see a joke I found? *shows mirror*
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.
Bro never learned how to play Jenga. π