Short jokes
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?
The orphan gets back up.
Why do you only see girls in groups of 3, 5, 7, and 9?
Because they can’t even.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What do you call an Indian gravedigger?
Digdeep.
It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
Did y'all ever hear about the great thunder crash of September 11th?
The view is so much better without those twins covering the city.
Well, that was a blow up!
Have you ever been to the new Disney park called SawCon?
SawCon deez nutz!
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because walls.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
TITANic
I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...
We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.