Short jokes
What did the blind man say on Christmas?
"I can feel your presents!"
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?
In Washington D.C.
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
Q: Why do I like bone jokes so much?
A: Because they are humerus.
Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"
They replied, "I don’t know."
I said, "Fsh."
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.
Butthole.
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.
Why is the penis so light?
Because even thots can lift them.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Bananana!
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."
What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.
What would a clock look like with no numbers?
Timeless!
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?
"Want me to pack your shit?"
My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.
Consent before sex is a joke. It's just politically correct feminazi propaganda.