Short jokes
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.
Life's full of ups and downs :D <3
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
A vegan and a transgender jump off a cliff to see who will hit the bottom first.
Who wins?
Society.
I like my women like I like my scotch:
12 years old and mixed with coke.
May.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Jesus tried solving the Rubik's cube,
but died on the cross.
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
Why was the bee’s hair sticky?
He used honeycomb.
I wrote a song about a tortilla.
Actually, it’s more of a wrap.
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.