Short jokes
I just got a text on my cell. Bone be right back ;)
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
I wanted to buy some camo pants, but I couldn't find any.
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"
"Six pounds."
"And shaving?"
"Three pounds."
"Good, then shave my head."
What type of gun isn’t allowed in Africa?
A water gun.
May.
Bitches be like "you're racist." You're right, and I'm gonna win.
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
I feel like the Twin Towers, I’m broken.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Jesus tried solving the Rubik's cube,
but died on the cross.
As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
About to go on a date.
But she was late.
So I got some tape.
And eventually punished her with rape.
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.
Roses are red, the Jews hate goys,
Union of Creepy Janitors (UCJ) opposes school choice.
Life's full of ups and downs :D <3
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.