Short jokes
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.
Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese.
Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.
They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
Ariana Grande
Girls with the name Zoe have big foreheads.
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?
Skittles.
I tried to catch air once... I mist.
What happened when the dog played golf?
He hit the ball into the ruff.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasuuubi!"
What did the cholo say when the house fell on him?
"Get off me, homes!"
If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.
If my boobies are fish, then am I salmon boobies? Please give generously.