Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
Short Jokes
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
I identify as the Titanic, because I'm a wreck.
Gnome.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."
-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
What’s the difference between orphans and cars?
I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.
Are you a builder, because you give me an erection.
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
What are emos' favorite TV show theme song?
Beyblade, Beyblade, let it rip!
What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."
Yo son so excellent, he gone to a Rubik’s cube competition who competed against his daddy.
Man, your hairline is so bad it started from the beginning of the month to the end!
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
What is an oven that you don’t own? Nacho oven.
