Short jokes
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
Why do women love wind chimes?
They vibrate.
I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
Q: What did the kid on the airplane say?
A: "Those are two nice towers right there."
What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?
Panera Ned.
I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!
Your hairline is an artificial fact.
"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."
I only have a few friends, like if you relate.
Based on a true story.
Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1! #justice
You can only say "Kobe" now when you're playing flight simulator.
I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!
Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
Bob the builder.
I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.
On the plus side, Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with alcohol.
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!