Short jokes
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
"Our souls will rain forever."
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
I wanted to buy some camo pants, but I couldn't find any.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
Why can orphans stay out until whatever time?
Because their parents won't tell them when to come home.
What is fraud supposed to taste like?
Bananas and Rice.
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to the movies tonight?
Why are retards good at basketball?
'Cause they dribble all the time!
Why do pedos like to lose races? Because they like to cum on a little behind.
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?
Boyfriend: My mom taught me.