Short jokes
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What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
I kicked a soccer ball at a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Rocket League!"
Hi, I'm Madison, but for short you can call me Alex.
Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.
What do you say to a depressed person?
"I like ya cut, G."
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"
Make like a drum and beat it!
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
My parents love me.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"