Short jokes
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.
You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.
What's America's no. 1 class?
Target practice.
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.
Normally I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it’s two plane.
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?
The captain's log.
Orphan joke club Discord coming soon.
My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.
I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
What do you call a Hippie's Wife? A Mississippi.