Short jokes

Short jokes

Daughter

I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.

Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭

Rape

Why do women buy clothes from the kids section? Because rapists prey on the weak.

Cop car

What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?

With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.

Lie

Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?

A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”

Detention

I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.

Priest

Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?

So there’s more for the priest.

Life

(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?

Toaster

What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.

Poor

You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.

Him

Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.

Chicken

What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad.

(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)

Coat Hanger

What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?

You fix both with a coat hanger.

Gas

I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.

Ugliness

You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.