Short jokes
Two of my grandpas died in WW2.
Their tower fell over.
Life has ups and downs, and they had downs.
What do French ducks say?
Quoi quoi.
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.
Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?
Can I push your stool in for ya?
People are like tequila glasses,
you gotta shoot them down fast.
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant!
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.
An autistic man walks into a bra.
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
Q: What did I find on my son's search history?
A: Where is the nearest gun shop?
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
What country did Indians invent?
Curry-a.
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
What's Trump's favorite instrument?
A TRUMPet!!!