Short jokes
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
"Our souls will rain forever."
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
What is the leader of the school supplies?
The ruler!
Two cunts were walking down the street.
One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
What did the letter A say to the letter B?
"Z" you later.
The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.
I watch sexy girls AMV and my pp goes up and down and up.
My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"