Short jokes
Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn!
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
1979: I bet there will be "flying cars" in "the future."
2019: The flying cars future.
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
A: “Wrap” music.
What did one snow ❄️ man say to itself? My arm is broken.
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Oh Sans, you're such a bonehead! Sorry if that joke was jaw-breaking! LOL.
Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Banana na na.
Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."
Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?
“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.
He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
Q: What's red during puberty?
A: The blood on my hands.