Short jokes
Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
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There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
What's a boxer's favorite drink? A punch. 🥤🥤
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why can't Columbus be offered a professional football team?
Because then Cincinnati would want one too.
A man was at the temperature -273.15°C. He was OK.
Why did Zozo the hobo cross the road?
To eat the Pringles.
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright!
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?