Short jokes
What goes in dry and comes out wet?
A dick.
When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.
We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.
We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.
I hate these double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.
Hey, you down to fuck?
No, I’m just down.
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...
She said no, so I raped her.
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
I'm gay, lol.
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
What did the terrorist do when his kidneys failed?
Dial-ISIS!
Wanna see a joke I found? *shows mirror*
I like strippers on me.
How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?
They are all boomers in the end.
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
What’s long, white, and full of cream? A cheese stick.