Short jokes
Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.
Why do orphans hate p*rn hub?
They always see a stepdad and stepsis.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What is an astronaut's favorite button? A space bar.
When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,
The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"
The teacher replied, "Home."
The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?
Because they have no parents to run to.
What did the baseball chief say to the Orphan?
GO HOME!
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!