Short jokes
I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?
I like my girls like my coffee: Flat and white.
Doom is eternal.
Why do dwarfs love penis? It tickles their insides.
I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)
Why are we still fighting in darkness?
"Mission failed, soldier, we will get 'em next time."
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.
What did the bowler say when the balls were on the lane and the pin? They said, "Strike!" 😂😂😂😂
You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
What instrument do orphans play?
The sax alone.
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.
One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
What do you call a cat that walks slowly?
CATerpillar
I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.
And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.