Short jokes
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.
What begins with F and ends with CK?
Fuck, I mean fire truck.
Why can’t Asian people play baseball?
Why?
'Cause they ate the bat!
What happens when Steven Hawking dies?
Take his iPad to Cash Converters.
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
They didn't have a category for Bald, so I chose the Bald Eagle.
Did you know that bald people have an endless forehead?
What did Cinderella leave at the ball?
Her virginity.
I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
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Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.