Short jokes
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?
Both of them are just full of shit.
What did the owl that's a detective say?
"Hoo did it?"
Normal person: "I'm perfect!"
Goth person: "Nobody is."
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."
The joke is u.
Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
Mary Rose sat on a pin. Mary Rose!
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn!
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.