Short jokes
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
How do spiders reach the internet?
Through the World Wide Web!
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
What is a fat boy's favorite karate move?
A pork chop.
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
Cereal.