What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Short Jokes
I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.
Autobots, "Roll Out!"
On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they were outside my head.
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
Two cunts were walking down the street.
One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
If I told you Jeremy Palacios was not GAY!
I'd be a liar.
I just got a text on my cell. Bone be right back ;)
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!
What do you call a flying sheep?
A muttonbird.
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
What did the letter A say to the letter B?
"Z" you later.
What is the leader of the school supplies?
The ruler!
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
"Our souls will rain forever."
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.
