Short jokes
Friend: Name one gay person off the top of your head.
Me: Me.
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
Why should you always wear rubber?
So you don’t leave DNA evidence.
When you reconstruct Michael Jackson and Lil Nas X to wreak havoc on preschool.
I wasn't going to tell another emo joke, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
Women have ass and tits... but men have dick and rights.
Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
I raped a girl and I liked it.
I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right.
Don't mean I'm in love tonight.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and went right.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.