Short jokes
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
Cereal.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha!
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
Friend: You ok, man?
Me: Yea... I'll just leave myself "hangin'" tonight...
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
What is an angel's favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?
GuacaHOLY!
How do you kill time?
Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
"I spy with my little eye..."
- Noting I am blind -
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.