Short jokes
"I spy with my little eye..."
- Noting I am blind -
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
Youtubers say like and subscribe!
You know what pun is used for "waist?"
Nothing. You'll find nothing.
It's just a waste of time.
What's a boxer's favorite drink? A punch. 🥤🥤
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!
Mary Rose sat on a pin. Mary Rose!
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
Two's company, cheese a crowd!