Short jokes
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
I hate these double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.
Hey, you down to fuck?
No, I’m just down.
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?
What goes in dry and comes out wet?
A dick.
Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...
She said no, so I raped her.
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
I'm gay, lol.
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
How did the other 18 COVIDs go unnoticed?
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."