Short jokes
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.
(meaning sad)
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."
Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.
What do orphans and dinosaurs have in common?
Their parents are extinct.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.
Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
What did the owl that's a detective say?
"Hoo did it?"
Normal person: "I'm perfect!"
Goth person: "Nobody is."
Johnny, Johnny. Yes, Papa? Eating dick? Yes, Papa.
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?
Both of them are just full of shit.
What is brown and sticky?
What is white and gooey?
What is long and hard?
(Tell me in the comments)
Ur mom.
Oh wait, you don't have one.
Riddle: I can fill a room, others can have me, but I can't be shared. What am I?
Answer: Loneliness.