Short jokes
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
A: “Wrap” music.
What did one snow ❄️ man say to itself? My arm is broken.
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
We have some leak in the fridge. I'm surprised nobody has called a plumber.
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Skedaddle skedoodle, I'm gonna go beat my noodle.
Oh Sans, you're such a bonehead! Sorry if that joke was jaw-breaking! LOL.
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
1979: I bet there will be "flying cars" in "the future."
2019: The flying cars future.
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit."
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
1 "Knock knock."
2 "Who's there?"
1 "Interrupting physicist."
2 "Interrupting who?"
1 "Muon!!!"