Empire jokes
When do we think the Empire State Building is going to be shot down?
Why did the French call Napoleon "Napo?" Because it is Napo[leon].
What did the expired butter do once it had expired?
It did an expire.
Stormtrooper: Hey Palpatine! Luke is Vader's son.
Palpatine: Knew it.
Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.
“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”
“Why is that?”
“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”
Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”
Right, the bit as the bottom... i mean, look i keep myslef open on systems to rule empires and shit should i ever need to be it.
The West is dying...just like the romance of an empire, especially the western part of the empire. Funny that, 'cause the East was going strong.
What is the difference between the assassination of César and the assassination of Jesus?
They were both killed by Romans.
Caesar went to the future only to see how the Romans forgot Julius Caesar but only made a salad... I think it would have been better if Caesar stayed dead.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
Where does Caesar keep his armies?
Up his sleavies.
Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.
What did Caesar call a person?
She-Caesar.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?
Palpatine: Brew it!
Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?
Palpatine: Renew it!
Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).
No one:
Nothing:
Not a single f***ing soul:
Spanish Empire: DING DONG YOUR RELIGION IS WRONG!
There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.
First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"
Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"
And throws the White man off of the building.