Short jokes
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.
(meaning sad)
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.
Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Me and my friend's life story on a daily basis.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
My dumb ass thinking I made a friend, oh ya, I forgot, literally nobody likes me!
Hey daddy *winky face*
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"
Why did the nose cross the road to find the person who "nose"?
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
Friend: You ok, man?
Me: Yea... I'll just leave myself "hangin'" tonight...