Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
Short Jokes
What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?
The tornado siren doesn't get raped.
I like my women like I like my scotch:
12 years old and mixed with coke.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
Michael Jackson's hand.
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. (Wing, wing, halo.)
What do you call two men fucking? My dad and I. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to the movies tonight?
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
Why do pedos like to lose races? Because they like to cum on a little behind.
Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?
Boyfriend: My mom taught me.
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
What do you call a fish with two knees?
I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!
I like porn a lot. I was wondering if you guys can talk to me.
What does Jesus do when he gets nervous? He bites his nails.
99% of Roblox usernames be like: bdiejfbsie3hdiejdbisie882jeoxnd, by yYidgJyeuzyei73*-;ujduzjehzisjd, and j73heisbdjJd3nakwnwo2jdieneidjd.
I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.
