Short jokes
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
Why did Hitler commit suicide?
He got the gas bill.
Why are disabled people screwed?
Because you can't run or hide!
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
My boss told me I have a preoccupation with vengeance... We'll see about that!
You're so wonderful that Wonderland booked tickets to meet you!
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!
Your smile is so nice that the moon shines off them.
Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
Why shouldn’t you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?
Cheater, cheater, woman beater!
Imagine a dragon 🤔.
Imagine me dragging these nuts across your face.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
I suck.
I suck who?
Michael Jackson.