Short jokes
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
I want your cock in my rock bottom.
What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?
A black alien.
What goes up and down and needs two people?
A seesaw.
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.
What did one tower say to the other? "Damn, you looking fly!"
You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.
Transgenders! Men in disguise!
I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.
I be ready to commit suicide.
But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Skedaddle skedoodle, I'm gonna go beat my noodle.