Short jokes
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?
A black alien.
Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
My brother when he sees a girl.
What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.
You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.
I be ready to commit suicide.
But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
Bro, WW2 was just a joke.
*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
What is Instagram called in USA?
Instaounce.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Banana na na.