Short jokes
Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
Hondo's dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a Hondo.
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
These jokes are so dark that they picked the cotton!
What do super fancy music conductors wear?
A Louis baton.
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk.
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?
They both have to stay in the kitchen.
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
Why did the towers fall? Because someone in Call of Duty hijacked the planes and crashed them into it.
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.