Short jokes
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
Your mama is so skinny that when she went to go outside, the slightest breeze flew her all the way to New Mexico.
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.
I'm as straight as a rainbow.
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?
Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.
"How would you describe a really bad skeleton?"
"Bad to the bone!" (Or "Rotten to the bone" if you want.)
Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
What’s the difference between Rosa Parks and Muhammad Ali?
One fought for freedom, the other fought for fun.
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
Life is better without my dad annoying me (him smacking me, screaming for something useless, limiting my screen time, and much more).
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
I loved the Twin Towers, it's a shame my dad didn't.
Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.