Short jokes
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
Stranger: Do you need hair regrowth products?
Kid: No, my hairline is just far back.
Stranger: Do you need a doctor?
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.
I wanted to buy some camo pants, but I couldn't find any.
Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals!
Yo mama was so dumb, he didn't know how to turn on his computer.
I was once playing the bottle flip challenge on the school table with my friend, and when it was his turn, the bottle fell to his eggplant! 😱😂
Your mom is so fat that she cannot look at her feet when taking a shower.
Your mom is so fat that she thought Eminem is a candy.
What is the shortest month of the year?
May, it only has 3 letters!
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
Why did the egg hide?
Because it was a little chicken!
What does an Arab prostitute say?
"Bomb my pussy!"