Short jokes

You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇

I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh

What if Hitler did not say "bombs away," he said "lambs are slayed?"

I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.

Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.

Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.

What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.

What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.

Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade, curd.

Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it had too many emotional holes.

Bro, I gotta tell you a joke.

Nevermind, it's too cheesy!

You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.

Ferb is older than Phineas because his last line.

Ferb: "I’m boutta blow this sh*t!"

Banker: I have the right to take your money!

Me: Check my name.

Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?

Banker: *realizes*

Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.

Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

Celebrating Mother's Day is confusing, says my cousin.

I asked my sister to say something.

She said, "No."

That's what I like to hear.

My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."

Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.

Your hairline goes so far back that the History Channel made a show about it.

You're shorter than a thumbtack, like, boy, your auntie is probably taller than you.

A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”