Shooting Jokes

An Aussie, an Asian, and a Frenchman are in a bar.

The Asian throws his whiskey in the air and shoots it. The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Asian says, "There are plenty of them where we come from."

The Frenchman throws his champagne in the air and shoots it. Then the Aussie asks, "Why did you do that?" The Frenchman replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."

The Aussie then throws his beer up in the air and shoots the Asian. Then the Frenchman asked, "Why did you do that?" The Aussie then replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."

Three guys walk into a bar: one Asian, one American, one Black.

A girl walks in and says if all three of your D*** sizes don't add up to 12 inches, I will shoot you.

First comes the American with 3 inches, then the Black man with 8.

It totals out to 11 and they look at the Asian and say "Oh no."

He comes to 1 inch to top off the twelve.

She walks away and says ok.

The Asian says, "You're lucky she was hot, so I had a boner!"

When you’re hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.

So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.

Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.

A still from a movie shows a man holding a gun to another man's head, with the text above the image reading, "The punishment for trying to commit suicide in North Korea is death." The man holding the gun is labeled, "North Korean govt." and the man with the gun to his head is labeled, "North Korean citizen." The text on the bottom of the image reads, "Drop the gun... or else, I'll shoot."

I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight.

How do you start a school shooting at a black school?

Call the cops.

What kind of star would go to jail?

A shooting star!

Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?

Their focus is always off.

Cheap oil, no immigration, and no school shootings.

Corona did what Trump promised.

What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...

Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?

He shot a Ginger.

If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”

What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"

I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com

What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?

They both shoot when they see kids.

Wanna know why Kobe can't shoot?

Because he's dead.

whats the difference between a white kid and a computer?

the child has no trouble shooting

Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?

'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.

A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.