Shooting jokes
Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
What is the best revenge for getting punished at school?
Go shoot up the school.
Weed: *gets hit by his own power*
Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?
Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?
Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?
A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
A nun going down a water shoot? She never felt so wet in all her life!
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!
What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.
I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"
(gun shot)
Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
What do you call a cow that has been shot?
Holy cow!
*America shoots down balloon*
China: "You killed an innocent man!!"
USA: "What?!"
China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."
Q: What do you call an angry, bullied Asian kid?
Shoo Ting.
When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?
Why should you shoot a homeless crackhead in the head?
Because they're basically zombies.
The USA has school shootings. We Canadians have bus beheadings.
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."