Gun violence jokes
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
What is the best revenge for getting punished at school?
Go shoot up the school.
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?
The Las Vegas shooting.
School shooting: Happens.
Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.
American Student: "First time?"
So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”
*School shooting happens.*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk.*
American student: "First time?"
Foreign exchange student: "Yeah, you?"
American student: "Hahaha. No, not my first time."
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."
When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.
😐😑
When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
Q: Why do Americans fish with guns?
A: To shoot up the whole school.
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Sandy Hook is my favorite holiday.
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.