Gun violence jokes

An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."

Covid 19 stopped mass shootings faster than the Government.

I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.

What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?

They both light up the room.

Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?

Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.

What's the difference between humans and bullets?

Humans miss John Lennon.

When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.

😐😑

So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”

Why are Americans so dumb?

Because they shoot the ones that go to school.

Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.

Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.

I never get school shooting jokes.

Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.

When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.

What's a school shooter's favorite flower?

Columbine.

When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door, and the autistic kid opens it.

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

POV there’s a school shooting.

American: First time, European?

European: Yeah, you American?

American: No, not my first time.

Why do black men have nightmares?

Because the only one that had a dream got shot.

*School shooting happens.*

Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk.*

American student: "First time?"

Foreign exchange student: "Yeah, you?"

American student: "Hahaha. No, not my first time."

Where are the best shooting ranges in America?

Used to be in schools, but now in subways.