Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.
What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.
I joined a emo class today the first lession I learnt was slice and dice and let it flow.
Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly or... Are they just given a quick crash course?
What happened when the dog played golf? He hit the ball into the ruff.
Dad joke Why does a dad gets more than a pair of socks at the golf course? Because of a hole in one
Where do golf players practice?
Near a gulf.
Man Everybody Birthday Is This Year🤦🏽‍♂️
Someone:hey are you a skeleton? A skeleton: course, I have a SKELE-ton of fans
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs, i replied "OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR FUCKING ARMS!"
ok so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him. it was a seven course meal if i say so myself
Everyone loves orphans,
other than their parents of course.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? - Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
This pastor decided to skip church one sunday morning and go play golf.
He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.
He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried is an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.
An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).
Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother "Mom can little girls have babies " his mom answered "of course not" a few minutes later his mom heard him shout to his friend "it's okay we can keep playing
What do you do during a shooting? why join in of course....
A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills.
The cop asks the woman, "Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?"
She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers."
The cop asks, "So what did you do about it?"
The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!"
"That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack?"
The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays..."
A guy is due to meet his friends for drink at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late.
The guy says, "Well, you won't believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."
The friends are cheering and one friend asks, "So... did you get any head?"
The guy replies, "No, I couldn't find it."
