I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning. Damn, I love being a sniper
A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flyin around about six inches above the water. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal.”
There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal.”
There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal.”
There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal.”
There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal.”
Then it all happened
The fly dropped six inches
The fish came up and caught the fly
The bear came out and caught the fish
The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich
The mouse went for the sandwich
The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond
The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.
Cheap oil, no immigration and no school shootings.
Corona did what Trump promised
What do you do during a shooting? why join in of course....
If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs Biden can't get it.
Biden: *falls over on steps*
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
How do you paint a wall red?
You shoot a baby with a .50 cal
Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. Thats the third one this week and its only monday
I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.
What did the cop say after he shot the ginger? "I guess orange is the new black"
You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed
Why are school shooting jokes so funny?
Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.
Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because one of them get shot, they will all be featured on the news.
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
How do you get a clown of your swing?
You shoot it.
Bippity Boppity, I'm gonna shoot you of my property!
What are so special about bullets ? :- They do work after they are fired
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters? They both shoot when they see kids.