I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.
Why are school shooting jokes so funny?
Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
Bippity Boppity, I'm gonna shoot you off my property!
Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.
I came here to laugh.
Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.
God: Ok, so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look from being born to preteen.
Satan: (slides in) I’ll take over for you, pops.
God: I dunno... this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system.
Satan: Don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18!
God: Hmm... I’m still not- (Gets a call on his phone) Shoot, I got to take this. (Answers call) Don’t touch anything, Lucifer! (Walks away)
Satan:.......(just touches lightly, and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away)
God: (rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!
God: (tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) Fuck me........
God:....(sighs) Fine, it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty.
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
When you get caught about to shoot up the school,
*slowly puts AR to chin*
You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed, but you only have 2 bullets left. What do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.
Biden: *falls over on steps*
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?
The Las Vegas shooting.
Shoot.
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
