Sex jokes
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
Memes
What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
...their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
Sex is basically math. You add the bed. Subtract the clothes. Divide the legs to multiply inside.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."
Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.
Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?
She sat on Pinocchio's face and said: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.