Sex jokes
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
What is the difference between hungry and horny?
The cucumber goes to different places.
A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."
Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
...their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?
She sat on Pinocchio's face and said: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."
What's the best thing about a blowjob?
- The silence.
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
Adam and Eve had sex. It was paradise.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
If her age is on the clock, she gets the cock.
Why did the heterosexual woman try to put a mask 😷 on her pussy? She wanted to protect herself from covid, but she did try to put a mask 😷 on her dildo, but the mask 😷 keep falling off the dildo.
Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.