Sex jokes
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
...their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?
She sat on Pinocchio's face and said: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."
What's the best thing about a blowjob?
- The silence.
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
Adam and Eve had sex. It was paradise.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
If her age is on the clock, she gets the cock.
Why did the heterosexual woman try to put a mask 😷 on her pussy? She wanted to protect herself from covid, but she did try to put a mask 😷 on her dildo, but the mask 😷 keep falling off the dildo.
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
Something you can say at a job interview and during sex:
"I’m here for the new position?"